It is that time of year again and the Christmas spirit is once again invading our jumper draws. Christmas is the season to be jolly (tra, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,..) and this festive spirit is not to be just limited to the real world. Oh no, as we get ever closer to that fabled day, the festive spirit begins to take hold of everyone and everything including those that exist within the world of Fallout 4.
Taking inspiration from Clement Clarke Moore’s classic Christmas tale, ‘The Night Before Christmas’ or as it is officially called, A Visit from St. Nicholas. We thought we would write our own Fallout 4 inspired night before Christmas tale. We thought it would be fun to remaster this classic to cater to each and every Fallout fan this Christmas.
Of course, this will require a basic knowledge of Fallout 4 as it does contain many a random Fallout character, item or weapon. So, get your mince pies at the ready, dim the lights and get lost in Fallout 4’s classic adaptation – Night Before Christmas.
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a mutated creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by Vault – tec with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-bombs danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I stashing my caps,
Had just turned in the Brahmin for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I fast travel to Sanctuary to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and blew off the ash.
The moon on the breast of the nuclear fallout snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to my power armour below.
When, what to my Jet shot eyes should appear,
But a fusion powered sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer.
With a little old Raider, so lively and quick,
I thought for a moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than his coursers they came,
he whistled, and shouted, and called those Radstags by name!
“Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on Donner and Blitzen!
From the door of the Vault, just missing the turret on the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”
As dry leaves that before the Rad storm fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to settlements like a Vertibird they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys, and many a pip boy too!
And then, with the help of Buffout, I heard on the roof
Some prancing and pawing – the crafty devil, he’s after my loot!
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came holding a mini Nuke round.
He was dressed all in Deathclaw fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all singed with ashes and soot.
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
And almost looked like a Super Mutant , holding a meat sack.
His eyes-how they twinkled, seeming so merry
His cheeks like roses, his nose like a cherry!
A Synth in the flesh, the mouth drawn up like a bow,
And the synthetic beard of his chin was as white as snow.
The remains of Iguana Bites and Mutfruit he had between his teeth,
And the modding criteria encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a looked like he liked a Boston beer,
Whoever created this character in the intro has made my friggin year!
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I thought when I saw him, a new companion for myself?
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know, Eddie’s Peace may have to shoot off some lead
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
gestured for a Nuka Cola, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
Sucked back on some Psycho and up the chimney he rose!
He sprang to his sleigh, to the Radstag gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the shockwave of a missile.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas Fallout fans, and to all a good-night!”
A classic Christmas tale for all Fallout fans to enjoy. We recommend that you read this to the Fallout fan in your life on Christmas eve in front of the fire.
The commonwealth is awash with tinsel and sparkling lights – the traders, the raiders and even the Diamond city haters are singing Christmas carols.
All that’s left is for you to slip into that colourful Christmas jumper your gran bought you, whip up a batch of eggnog and get festive with Fallout 4 this Christmas!
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